A guy's brain

For those who always wondered what a guys brain might look like. This is pretty much it. Or is it because we want women to think it looks like this :P. Who knows?

Since we are talking about men, I might as well add another thingie. I just read that beer contains a high amount of female hormones. A scientific research showed this. This research found place in one of the local pubs, where an amount of men had to drink around 10 beers.
The following conclusions were drawn after the test:

1. They all gained a high amount of fat.
2. They've talked a lot, without having said anything useful
3. They can't drive anymore, and can't park their cars.
4. They can't think logically anymore and reason was far to be found.
5. They won't admit that they were wrong, although it was obvious they were.
6. Each of them started to think that they were the center of the universe
7. They have headaches and didn't want sex anymore.
8. They couldn't control their emotions anymore.
9. They kept walking hand in hand or kept their arms around eachother.
10. They had to go to the toilet awfully often, and usually had to go together.

Pictures speaks louder than words

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Come back to me girl (English version)- Se7en

So hard not to think about it
It's every step I take
And heaven knows I'm trying
But it gets awfully hard
When your heart is this broken

Visions of your lovely face
As I awake, I have this feeling
That you're here and beside me
How silly of me, I know

all the pain will go away
so I say it, here I am again
I gotta face another day
I'm so tired, I need u once again oh baby

How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in ur heart
but please come back to me (oh baby)

I'll be right here if you need someone
If you hold another I'll be moving on
As easy as said
Just hope that I can see the road

Oh how it's been so long
It seems a lifetime passed
These memories that linger,
soon as I think they have gone
they only gotten stronger

And so I'm getting through a day
but every move was made was always you and I together
It's hard to believe im lonely

Is there gonna be a day
I can see the word to make me better
I know there has to be a way
So if you listen and hear me out girl, baby

How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in your heart
but please come back to me (oh baby)

I'll be right here if you need someone
if u hold another one i'll be moving on
as easy as said
just hope that i can see the road

seven

one two three four five six seven

seven

when you hear seven turn it up
you're one in a million,
dunno how we got so wrong
I thought it was so simple then
now I know, now I know, how it goes
to let it go

Can there be a chance for you and I?
Before I really make up my mind
oh how I miss you
I never would kiss you
I'm speaking it from my heart

How am I suppose to carry on,
I find myself singing the same old song
If you hear me, have it in you heart

I'll be right here if you need someone
if you hold another I'll be moving on
just hope that I can see the road
come back to me baby

Beautiful because of imperfection.

There is a kind of beauty in imperfection.
--Conrad Hall

Actually there are quite a few things I want to ramble on about, but somehow I kind of refuse to do so. You ever had this feeling that you feel reaching out, but yet refuse to reach out to people? It gives you a certain feeling of solitude, which slowly kills you from inside, but a feeling of melancholy that actually gives you a certain sense of pleasure.

Recently I’ve been reviewing my thoughts of prettiness. What is pretty? And can something that is considered not completely perfect still be pretty? Or can it be pretty just because it’s not completely perfect? A definite uniqueness that adds to the prettiness within? Is such beauty not even considered prettier? I find it rather weird, too call something beautiful, because it is not. It is one step away from it, yet it makes it even more marvellous than it would have been, if it were complete.

I finally seem to understand why some of my memories are so beautiful. It's the imperfections in it that makes it unique as it is. It's not something we can simply replace anymore. So are the little imperfect things that surround us. The imperfection usually adds that extra side story to things, that makes it unique, and a marvel that only imperfection can give us.

Oh well enough rambling for today.

If you look closely at a tree you'll notice it's knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully.
-- Matthew Fox

City of Angels

The gym I work out at recently have become a part of Fitness First. Of course a lot of changes came with it, some good and some not so good. One of these changes is that I can hire DVD’s for free. You have to turn them back in after 2 days. This way it will motivate their members to go to gym every 2 days. I like this idea, and I like them to think “with” the customers. Same like the free fruit. I sometimes forget about my daily vitamins, but when I see a basket full of fruit in front of me every few days, it will be hard to neglect it.

So, recently I decided to re-watch City of Angels. I remember the first time I saw it I found it a little slow paced. But back then I was still a impatient teen, and probably had no good intuition and sense to interpret the movie in the right way. Although I did remember that I still liked the movie in some way. Not to mention that I really love the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. Which is of course one of the songs on the original soundtrack of this movie.

(The following text might contain some spoilers)
For those who’ve never seen City of Angels, it is a movie about an angel called Seth (Nicolas Cage) who gradually falls in love with a doctor Maggie (Meg Ryan). Maggie is able to see Seth only when he wants her to see him, and of course she has no idea that he is an angel, neither does she believe in such existence. She has to face life and death every single day yet she doesn’t believe in heaven, nor can perceive such thing. Seth actually has the answer to all her doubts and questions. And he present these in his own way. Not really with words, or something you can perceive directly, but just with his presence, and he seems to give her the feeling that she’s know him for a long time.
Seth doesn’t have the gift to feel hunger, pain, or to touch people. Only humans are able to do so. Of course this all wouldn’t enhance his possible relationship with Maggie.
Eventually Seth realise that he can choose to become human. As he choose to become a fallen angel, but in turn he has to give up all he has known, and give up his existence as an angel.

Maggie dies in the end of the movie, while Seth already gave up his existence as an angel, but the time they had together was a very short period of time. Still Seth insisted that he rather be able to touch her just once, than never been able to do so.

Even though Maggie and Seth are divided by death, I tend to think that their love is eternal. Since Maggie, will always be in Seth’s heart, and he never regretted that he give up his divine existence in return for his very short time with Maggie.
Ok, it might not really befit me to act so sentimental, but this all seems a little touching to me. Especially the fact that Seth is willing to give up so much for just a moment, and the fact that he never regretted that he give up everything for just that one moment in life somehow touches right into my heart. I’m not fully aware if I would ever be able to do so, but I really do feel Seth, but too be really honest I haven’t really found my Maggie yet. Actually recently I thought so, but it turns out not the way I wanted to be.

C'est la vie… being able to be together, means being able to be apart, but most importantly is that there were times of being together.

Fate (Yun)

Chinese have a word called "Yun". Literally it can be translated as fate. Lately, I have been living in a melodramatic world, but I always tend to take some time for myself during these times. Thinking about what happened, trying to take a helicopter view, away from the "situation" I've been in. Reading helps a lot. It clears my mind that has been really misted up by the clouds in front of me. What I didn’t know and couldn’t see was the clear sky behind the clouds.

Behind the clouds is a new sky. One that is clear, and can be seen as new horizon of opportunities. Still, there’s one more dilemma left. Something that I would call fate. What should I do when something “slips away” from you? It might be fate that it slips away, and all my traditional Chinese wisdom tells me that I should be able to accept this, as life cannot always come the way as you want it to be. Yet I feel like fate is something you “create” yourself too. If there are still chances to recover, should I still accept “fate”? I still wouldn’t know what might happen if I try to recover it. Too be honest, things are still beautiful, I still have the nicest of the incidents that happened, but should I still pursue for more? Isn’t love the most beautiful when it can last forever in your memories? Or should we be able to posses the things we really want?

This impasse is still haunting my thoughts, but gradually I tend to accept fate, and am able to tolerate the fact that I will have to let go. Letting go, will make our memories beautiful as they are, and hopefully last forever. Not because I'm oblivious, but because I understand...

一切隨緣

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be....



This song adds this melodramatic feel to the atmosphere, but one that can almost be considered soothing, yet so sad. There are times when we all feel left along in this world, and nothing soothen us more than having pity on ourselves for a short moment. Some people choose to reach out at this moments, but yet I choose not. It's hard to keep this moment as a brief one, but yet there is no other way than to do so. It's the sweetest when it's short.

It's a totally different feeling from the experience between sleeping and waking. That's my delight everyday. But there are times, I tend to think it's the same. These little moments, makes us to enjoy and cherish life the most....